Part of the Change!

What has changed since the Spirit of God entered this house and was given control. The short answer is everything. But there is much more to it! Starting from the beginning, and I'm sure I will leave something out, the first change I noticed was freedom from the physical expression of sin, sin being lust, an all consuming desire for sex, worshipping the sex no-god, bowing before him in constant worship, every thought tainted with sex, and seeking life from sex. Though the drive behind the physical expression was gone, the habit of thinking and acting that way was and is a continual battle. A battle I couldn't win alone, but I'm not alone. My view of sex and sexuality has changed and probably will change even more. God has taken me thru what seem like several stages, that have shaped my thinking toward sex and where I seek life from. I had tried for decades, to squeeze wholeness, or life, or fulfillment, or satisfaction, whatever you want to call it, from sex. Wholeness, the kind we all long for, can only be found in the Creator, the Giver of Life, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, there is NO other source. He's the only one. But, because of the event in the Garden of Eden, we are separated from the Source of all Life. And, that why I find myself in dire need of rescue, my ways are so ingrained that it's going to take a life time, or what left, to change into what God has desired for me.

As the seasons pass, I'm discovering a whole new way of life. A life where sex is a gift, a gracious gift, that's given out of other-centeredness. It's so much more than the act of inserting or of being enter by ones genital. I'm discovering that sex isn't even important, I know that sends shivers down peoples back, but it really isn't. What's important is God. Does anyone intend to have sex with God? I think there much more to it! And, I think sex has nothing to do with it. As I said, sex is a gift given by God, perverted by man. There have been a few times now, when sex was the farthest thing from my mind, and then out of nowhere finding myself being desired by my wife. I was surprised, it was not by my efforts, it was a gift, and Wow what a gift. Something happened that I've never really experienced before, it was awesome. Of coarse, I tried later to re-enact the event, it was nothing like the gift, it was me trying to please myself. Yet another stage, of the changing view I hold. A view that's changing from sex as giving life to God who can give life.